Secrets
by ace sanchez
Summary: don't ask, just read and review.(plz:)


"I don't care, I'm going to beat you at Pokemon League, you just watch!" he says in a determined tone. With a last look of hatred at me, he straightens his red and white cap and stomps off. His Pikachu glares at me before it turns around and scampers after its trainer on all fours.   
With my trademark smirk, which I give even though he is no longer facing me, I fold my arms as my cheerleaders give out the chant.   
"Gary, Gary, he's our trainer, when we see you at Pokemon League, so long, seeya later!"  
I liked that cheer.   
Sapphire and Emerald never cease to amaze me sometimes with what they come up with. "You may be the second best trainer at Pallet, Ash, but the gulf between first and second is just waayy too much," I say in my most annoying, sneering tone. But he ignores me totally this time as I look on worriedly. Perhaps this time, I've gone too far.   
It was a really rotten thing to say, but whenever I see him, it all just comes bursting out of me, kind of like those alien chest-bursting things in the movies. I rub my necklace out of habit. Whenever something happens that plays with my emotions, I always do it. For some reason it makes me feel better.   
"Okay, girls, fun's over!" I say to my fanclub in a proud tone. "You go on ahead to the hotel, I have some things to take care of first."   
They wink at me and blow kisses as they turn around. "Okay Gary-boy, we'll see you later!" they say. "And this time we really hope you don't have a headache!" They giggle as I turn back and take a last look after Ash who had just turned the corner.  
"Gary?" Ruby stands by my side and touches my arm. I almost jump away by reflex before I control myself. I turn to look down at her. She is so short compared to me. I wonder how I turned out so tall.   
"Gaaary ... don't worry about that Ketchum kid. What you said about his father was probably true." I blink, surprised. Am I that transparent? How did she know what I was thinking? All the outside world was supposed to see was an arrogant boy - a bully really. But mostly to Ash Ketchum.   
I laugh to reassure her. "What are you talking about? Me, the great Gary Oak, worry about a rival?" She smiles and begins to touch my arm again. I flinch. Tears wet her eyes.   
"Why do you always push us away? Push me away? Is there something wrong with us?"   
I am taken aback. Excuses flare up in my mind. I choose the best one.   
"No, nothing like that," I say reassuringly. "It's just that I'd feel like I'd be taking advantage of you." Please let her buy it, I silently pray.   
She looks at me with shining green eyes. "What if I want you to take advantage of me? I-I think I love you. I think even more than the other girls."   
Red flags begin waving in my head. I begin to feel guilty. I wonder again how all of this could have happened.   
I step closer and hug her, anything to lessen this feeling of guilt. Her face turns up toward mine as her eyes close. Her lips seem to seek mine. I stand transfixed, paralyzed as if an Arbok had glared at me. Maybe I had better kiss her.   
But at the last second, I shout in a shrill voice and tear myself away from her. I just can't do it. I'm not like that. I begin to run down the road. I dare not look back to see her face.   
For at least an hour, I run, jog, sometimes walk, all over Pallet Town. My mind is numb.   
What would she tell the others? At this rate, they'd all begin to get suspicious. Then what. How could this all have happened? I ask myself yet again. And again, I answer myself. It was all Ash's fault. If it weren't for him...   
As it begins to rain, I realise that I have stopped at the gate of a house. The letterbox is white. Oak, it says beneath the number. It is my house. For over a year I had been travelling, and now I was home.   
May, I think. Was she home? What was happening was beginning to tear me up, and I had to have someone to confide in. My older sister knew. I could talk to her and be myself.   
The gate squeaks as I open it and step onto the footpath leading to the house. The rain is falling harder now, wetting my brown hair so that the spikes lose their shape and droop around my head, over my eyes.   
Then I am ringing the doorbell. I wait a few moments and hear footsteps coming towards the door. Then it opens.   
"Gar - Gary? Is that you?" It is my sister alright. Her beautiful face is looking at me in worry. I must look like a drowned Rattata. And then I just lose all control and rush into her arms. My face is wet, though I think it is now more because of my tears than the rain.   
She hugs me, and it makes me feel as if all my problems go away, like water through an open hand, just as if she had been my mother. Which she really was since she had always been the one to take care of me since our parents died.   
Slowly, I come back to my senses and my crying had reduced to only a few sobs. May releases me and holds me at arm-length.   
"You look like you've been through a lot. Why don't you get cleaned up and we'll talk, alright?" She looks at me more sternly. "You know what I mean, don't you?" I nod, still unable to talk. Then I leave her and go to my room. The sign on the door reads, 'Gar-'. I had scratched out the rest of my name a long long time ago.   
I open the door and step inside.   
Everything seems the same as if I had never left it. I walk toward the mirror and remove some of the photos that had been covering it, enough to see my face.   
No wonder my sister knew something was wrong. I looked terrible. I must have begun crying even before I saw my sister. Somewhere during my long 'run.'   
I grab the comb and begin stroking it through my wet brown hair. The spikes that I painstakingly fixed up into my hair this morning fully disappear now, to my naturally straight, fine locks, which cascade around my cheeks and almost touch my shoulders. It looks its real length now. My chest is aching. Like it always does around this time of the day. I reach up under my shirt and behind my back and begin untying the bindings. When I am finished, I am left looking at a tall young girl.   
In the mirror, she looks like a younger version of my sister May, but with shoulder-length hair.   
It is me.   
I hear the door open and close behind me. "So how is my little sister?" May asks lightly.   
"Feeling rotten," I say without turning around.   
In my real voice.   
It is soft and feminine. I hadn't heard it in over a year so it kind of surprised me that I could still talk normally.   
"I honestly didn't think that you'd let it go on this long." She goes to stand next to me and we look at each other, at our reflections in the mirror. She reaches out and takes one of the photographs attached to the glass.   
"So you probably still like him." She paused. "And still haven't told him."   
I close my eyes. "I guess so." I open my eyes and take the photo from her fingers.   
On it is a picture of Ash, without his Pokemon League hat. He is about eight years old, and next to him is his best friend.   
A boy with spiky brown hair and an arrogant smirk on his face.   
Or really, a girl, but one who is dressed as a boy.   
I open the dresser drawer and remove three letters from it which match the G, A and R on my door. The I, N and A.  
Maybe it was time to put them where they belonged. And tell Ash how she felt.   
  
***   
  
THE END   
  
Author's Notes: Well, you know what Nurse Joy said in "Electric Shock Showdown..." Sometimes I get the weirdest ideas... Anyway, tell me what you thought!   
  



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